I wrote a short story once about a man who lived his life carrying around a large sack of stones. This sack bent his back, contorted his body, and hardened his spirit. Then one day he met a little girl who asked to see inside the sack. She gently pulled out a stone, buried it in the ground, and from it a beautiful tree emerged. As it turns out, they were not stones after all. They were seeds, meant to be blessings to make his life's journey easier. The man had not understood this, and had instead carried what he saw as stones with bitterness and resentment, unnecessarily burdened by the weight he carried. The gifts within the seeds were always there, but the man had to look with different eyes and choose to plant the seeds they truly were. That is the way all challenges work. We can carry them our whole lives, or we can cultivate the gifts that lie dormant within through looking with a different perspective and transforming the stone into a seed of grace.
It's easy to get caught up in the pain that life's challenges cause us. We all have our battle wounds, and sometimes old wounds continue to reopen. Right now I am faced with such a scenario, and there are moments I feel as though a boulder has crushed me to the ground. Thankfully, I know this secret about the boulder, that it is not meant to harm me, and I am not meant to carry it. Instead, it is my journey to plant what is a seed of blessings so that I harvest the Divine gifts of wisdom and good that it contains. I believe that within each challenge/stone that we carry a greater gift is waiting for us to call it forth. I believe that nothing comes into our lives without a blessing attached. I have watched the patterns of life since I was young, and even as a teenager I already saw that good comes from each challenge faced. Every. Single. Time.
There has been a lot of media lately about bullying. Ellen DeGeneres is being attacked by One Million Moms (who have only 43,000 likes on FB) for her pride in being openly gay and excitement to be the new spokesperson for JCPenney, my daughter is dealing daily with someone who teases her at school, and I too find myself being bullied by someone in my life, aka "Mr. Boulder." Schools talk about a Zero Tolerance policy, and maybe that has worked in the past, but I haven't seen any proof. The truth is that the anger fueling bullies emanates from some form of deep pain, and somewhere in that pain they have given themselves permission to throw their stones at others. Ostracizing or getting revenge on a bully doesn't seem to be the answer, that seems to add to the weight they already carry, causing them to lash out even more in attempts of alleviating some of their burden. Part of the solution is empowerment to those who are on the receiving end of bullying. Ellen addressed the nation on her show saying her "haters are [her] motivators" and her values of "honesty, equality, [and] compassion..." are what we all need more of. My daughter is learning to stand up for herself too, asking for help when she needs it, and talking through the tough times with me and teachers at school. Tonight I stood up for myself as well. I told Mr. Boulder that I will not tolerate being insulted, called cruel names, and torn down by his words. He made sure to get a couple last digs in, but I think he heard me, and I pray that my standing up to him makes him back off. My daughter asked me what I would do if he didn't. "I don't know...," I said. The only thought in my head was to pray, not just for me, but for him as well. Only when his weight is lifted and his awareness expands will he stop throwing stones.
So this is a boulder in my life right now. A bully that chooses his words to cause the greatest amount of pain to me. I wish I could say that I was somehow impervious to his abusive affronts. The truth is that it does hurt, and I do shed some tears, and then I remember... plant the seed.
There is a gift in being aware of the seed. It allows me to release my grip on any situation that no longer serves me, to acknowledge that the seed is here to bestow upon me something Divine, and that the sooner I begin looking for it, the sooner it will come to light and the fruit it bears will feed my soul.
This is a time for meditation, prayer, and gratitude. Yes. Gratitude. At times in life each of us will cross paths with antagonizers and tormentors, but we cannot let them suck the joy from our beings. We need to use their negativity to dig deep into our reservoir of self-love and Divine Light, allow them to be our "motivators", plant the seeds they bring to us, and be willing to look up towards the miracle that sprouted forth instead of the decaying shell laying on the ground.
Tonight I pray for all the bullies in the world who are so overburdened that they are compelled to throw stones at others. I pray for all of us who have had a pelting, that we might mend our wounds, plant the seeds, and receive the gifts while releasing the package it came in.
May we all choose to be a little bit kinder, and may we all learn to activate the gift within each challenge, teaching others to do the same as part of our journey.
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